Fear of Falling
by galleena
Summary: They sat on the cold damp ground together for several minutes until finally Hermione broke the silence. ‘Ron’ she asked timidly ‘Will you teach me how to fly?’ 1507 hits
1. Fear of Falling

**Fear of Falling.**

Her home was empty when she arrived. Even Crookshanks was nowhere to be seen. The air, usually full of the whirring of radiators and the buzzing of nearby traffic, was still… stifled apart from the whispered sound of voices from up the passage. Cautiously she stole down the hallway to the kitchen, dread filling her chest at the possibilities of what or who she might find inside. Slowly, apprehensively, she reached out a shaking hand and slid through the ajar door.

The lights were out. A window was open. Cold air rushed through and, shivering, Hermione ran to close it. Suddenly the light switch flickered on and from the darkness of the larder stepped her mother.

Sweet release swept into Hermione. They were alive. Rushing forward she clutched her mum close and buried her head on her shoulder. But she was being torn away.

'Hermione' they were calling her; she had to go. The initial relief which had coursed through her at the sight of her parent alive dispelled rapidly.

'No,' she mumbled, 'just a while longer…please…I need to say goodbye'

'Hermione' the voice insisted.

'No!' she cried forcefully 'you can't make me go! I won't go!'

'Hermione!' the voice yelled 'Wake up!'

Groggily Hermione Granger opened her eyes and prised her face from page 189 of her Advanced Transfiguration textbook. She must have fallen asleep in the head's study lounge again. Seeking the source of the hailing voice she glared around to see Ron looking at her anxiously from the fireplace.

'You alright?' he asked, concern etched in his voice.

Suddenly acutely aware of her hair sticking out at forty-seven different angles from her head Hermione ran one ink-stained hand through it and snapped bitterly,

'Just fine Ron'

Not convinced, Ron gave her a dubious look before asking her if she'd meet him by the lake in an hour or so. Hermione reluctantly agreed then smiled at his happy face. It was so Ron, so blunt and forward of him that she couldn't do anything other than smile.

0-0-0-0-0

She hadn't realised how early it was when Ron called. Outside in the fresh air she guesstimated that it was only about half seven. Hogwarts hadn't quite recovered from the dark throes of its wintry gloom yet and her grounds were bathed in a soft dawn light. A reluctant sun poked its head above the peaks of the Scottish mountain range to the far east.

Ron stood by the lake already, gazing across its opaque surface to where his mind lay a million miles away. Hermione hadn't been herself lately. The combined stress of NEWTs and Harry's disappearance earlier that year had made Hermione a distant person. What she needed was companionship and what she had was a stash of book s and a pile of homework to do. When he heard Hermione approaching he pulled her into a quick hug and then stood back to look at her.

'You seem better now' he observed in a decidedly Ron-like way.

'Much better' she replied, snuggling back up to his cosy Christmas jumper (blue this year) 'where are we going?'

A large rucksack lay at Ron's feet but despite her wheedling in a decidedly un-Hermione like way, he wouldn't tell her what was in it. However, he did pull out a breakfast pack which Hermione ate gladly as they made their slow way around the lake. A quiet companionable silence fell over them as they walked in which Hermione gave Ron a very thorough look over. He was very tall, she observed to herself as she munched on a sausage. The blue jumped set off his hair nicely, she thought privately, chewing on toast. He smells divine, she noted when he finally dropped the pack and moved towards a thicket of willow trees.

Beckoning her to follow him Ron stepped into the shady grove. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust but when they did she could make out the shape of a broomstick suspended in midair. A broomstick! She froze, feeling all six years dread of flying well up into an unbearable lump in her stomach. She stumbled backwards and almost fell but Ron was there behind her, ready to catch. They sank to the ground slowly, Hermione's adrenaline-pumped heartbeat rapidly returning to normal. It was an irrational fear, she scolded herself. Silly of her!

Part of Ron wanted Hermione to stay wrapped in his arms. Her back was tense at first but slowly relaxed into a normal curve. They sat on the cold damp ground for several minutes until finally Hermione broke the silence.

'Ron' she asked timidly 'Will you teach me how to fly?'

0-0-0-0-0

It was, she decided as they skimmed over the frosty grass, preferable to riding a hippogriff anyway. True to his word Ron never let her fall and didn't once try an aerobatic stunt with her. What seemed like much later they glided back down to the willow thicket where Hermione gingerly dismounted first. It was an intense relief to be back on solid ground again but seeing at the eager look in Ron's eyes she brought herself to say that it was great, and she really enjoyed it. It was worth the lie to see his face light up in delight. It almost made the whole harrowing experience worth it. Almost.

0-0-0-0-0

As they made their way back towards the castle Ron noticed that Hermione seemed subdued. He paused by the foot of the Grand Stairway and caught her arm before she vanished back to her private study.

'Mione?' he asked quietly 'What's wrong?'

She deliberated over whether to tell him or not. She wasn't the confessing type really, usually everything would go into her personal diary and that would be the end of it. But she still was touched by Ron's unexpected plan to help her feel better (however ill-conceived it was) and it was a dream she had dreamt often recently that was bothering her. Harry wouldn't have thought twice about telling Ron if it had happened to him.

'I had a dream last night' she murmured, as though afraid of what she was saying, 'I was in my home and it was empty. The silence was deafening. I was alone but I had this acute sense of being watched as I made my way down the hall to where people spoke softly in the kitchen. When I opened the door nobody was in the room but the window was open so I went to close it. Somebody turned on the light and I spun around to see my mum standing in the cellar doorway…'

She paused here, gazing unseeingly at a portrait of a weeping man by a barrel of spilled milk and then continued in the same far-off voice.

'She was haggard, worn thin like stretched elastic and grooved around the cheeks. I ran over and hugged her but then somebody tore me away. It was your voice Ron. You were pulling me from her arms and I couldn't get back to her no matter how hard I tried… Then I woke'

Ron looked thoughtful for a moment, considering what Hermione had just said. A younger Ron wouldn't have known what to say. Eventually he opened his mouth to speak;

'Too bad Trelawney was finished off; I bet she would have loved to hear that from the devout atheist in all matters divination.'

Incredulously, disbelievingly Hermione swung around to see Ron grinning. Laughing exasperatedly and not sure whether to hit him or kiss him she went for a compromise and pecked him on the cheek before pulling him in for a hug.

'Thanks Ron; I think I needed that'

I know you did Hermione, he thought. I know.


	2. Sweet Dreams

**Sweet Dreams**

'Hermione!' Ron dashed down the corridor towards her after break the next morning, a scrap of paper clutched in his hand. 'Are you going to the library at lunch time today?'

'As a matter of fact I was Ron, why are you so excited?'

Ron was quite flushed around the cheeks, 'Oh nothing' he said dismissively. 'I just had an idea and ran all the way from the astronomy tower so that I'd catch you before you went to Advanced Transfiguration'

'Oh?…'

'Well,' Ron looked at her for a while, taking in pallid cheeks and the patches of badly applied concealer under her eyes 'I'll see you then...'

'Yes, see you Ron' she said as she strode into transfiguration, ignoring the giggles coming from behind her.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Hermione had already completed translating and summarising her second Ancient Runes paragraph when Ron dashed into the library at lunch time.

'There you are Mione. I thought you'd go to lunch first'

'I wasn't hungry'

She could feel Ron's eyes boring into the back of her neck so somewhat irritably she snapped

'Are you going to sit down Ron?

'Wha'? Oh, yeah, I was'

Plonking himself on the chair opposite her he pulled out the scrap of paper he had with him earlier and dragged a heavy tome from his shoulder bag. It must have easily weighed 5 pounds thought Hermione, staring at it. When Ron said nothing she decided it was time to speak.

'Well do introduce us Ron, what is it?'

'This' Ron said, pausing here for dramatic effect 'Is the all-rounded, comprehensive, wide-ranged Guide to Dream Interpretation Aid…'

Hermione was not impressed 'Your divination book?' she said sceptically.

'Well no actually, this is a side book I thought I should get to help me interpret the interpretations from The _Really_ Comprehensive All-rounded Wide-ranged Guide to Dream Interpretation'

Silence.

'Are we going somewhere with this conversation Ron?'

'Yes, this is the good bit. We interpret your dream, figure out how it relates to your life currently and then you can forget about it and get a good night's sleep'

How could anyone resist those eyes, thought Hermione. Outwardly she sighed, closed her runes book and pulled out a fresh sheet of Parchment.

'Okay Ron, hit me with it…'

0-0-0-0-0-0

After checking their re-written account of Hermione's dream Ron flicked though the pages of the massive book and read aloud,

'Hallway: As an entrance to the building, the hallway is most likely to symbolise the woman's … well... you know…'

'No, I don't know. What is it Ron?'

'Well… you know...' He lowered his voice 'her _private part.'_

'Oh for Merlin's sake! Here, give me that.'

'Sound or lack thereof: Is the person in your dream surrounded in real life by people who give into arguments all the time? Sound in dreams is often a metaphor for sexual- Really Ron! Who wrote this book?'

'Emm… A wizard called Freud the Second I think… I heard that he was obsessed with sex …'

'I would never have guessed,' said Hermione dryly, before picking up the book again and flicking through another few pages.

'Beam of light (directed at the viewer): The dreamer should examine their own shortcomings more closely. Perhaps they do not like the spot light to be on them. This can also refer to sexual relationships and –'

Hermione slammed the book shut. 'This is useless Ron! I'd be so much better off studying for ancient Runes.'

'No wait! What he says about the appearance of your mother is interesting.

'Mother: Every woman becomes her mother. According to Jungian dream principles the mother is an archetype in which part of the dreamer's personality is portrayed. You can tell the condition of that personality trait by looking at her.

If you faced her perhaps you are facing into your own future. If she stood behind you, you feel you have turned your back on some part of yourself or possibly a close friend-

'Harry', Hermione whispered.

Ron glanced at her and continued reading from the book

'-If you know she is there but is concealed from view then you have, so to speak, stashed part of yourself away. _(See also: closet)._'

A moment passed…

'Perhaps there is something in this dream interpretation theory after all', conceded Hermione, 'I might talk to Professor Firenze about it after classes.'

0-0-0-0-0-0

'I shall certainly meditate on it Ms.Granger' spoke the deep-throated voice of Firenze. 'Yet it was probably a mere dream. You humans tend to dream to forget and can go mad without REM for days in a row. Centaurs have always dreamed to remember and a rare talented few can even dream to see the events of the future. You would do well to take us more seriously.'

Hermione flushed slightly pink, she _had_ been wondering whether or not to trust this half horse, hidden in the shadow of his indoor forest. 'I'm sorry Professor; I didn't mean to be insulting'

'Do not worry child, no insult was taken'

Firenze turned heel (or hoof) and trotted back into the gloomy depths of his supply cupboard.

'You may go now Ms.Granger; I will contact you when the work is done'

0-0-0-0-0-0

'And that was it!' said an incredulous Ron 'Just, I'll get back to you on that!'

'Yeah', Hermione laughed 'That was it'

They sat on the big plushy sofa opposite the fire and stared at its iron hearth for a few minutes. The Gryfindor common room was almost empty apart from a small group of fourth years sitting worriedly in a corner, each finishing a two-foot scroll of what looked like potions. Eventually even these went to bed leaving the pair alone on the sofa. It struck Hermione just how long it had been since she last sat here in the common room. At least six months she figured… before Harry left anyway.

She opened her mouth to say something at the same time Ron opened his to do the same.

'You go first' she said

'No, you'

'It's nothing really; I was just thinking how long it has been since we were here last'

'Me too…'

Once again quiet fell. The glowing embers of the fire gave off only a little heat and soon Hermione felt herself shiver. Ron noticed

'Are you cold?' he asked (somewhat naively)

'No, not re-'

Ron already had his jumper halfway over his head, exposing his torso to the firelight as his t-shirt rode up with it. All Hermione could do was stare. Ron moved closer to give it to her. Stammering thanks she took the proffered jumper and pulled it over her own head. The blue wool was soft and smelled of Ron. When she had pulled her arms and head through she noticed Ron staring at her as she sat back beside him and turned to gaze at the red coals.

'You're very pretty you know' he said quietly 'Even when you look like you haven't slept in a week'

He was staring at her still. She felt the couch move as he got up to leave and heard herself say 'no… don't go… yet'

The springs relaxed as he settled back down again. She was consciously aware of his arm resting on the chair behind her. Very gradually his hand came to rest on her shoulder. Just as apprehensively she moved until her head was tilted onto his chest.

He looked down, surprised, but she was already asleep.


	3. You, of course

It's you, of course.

_**Dark. Cold. Icy fingers digging in on face, on cheek, on scar. Pain. Searing and liquid sudden pain. Laughter. Not mine. Laughter ringing. **_

_**Hoarse yell. Painful, dry lips and parched throat.**_

**_Gentle caress. Like master to pet dog. Velvet through the mind; smoothing, soothing, relaxing. Rubs the hurt away. Good velvet. Safe Velvet. Flowing velvet surfing through the mush. See faces, things I know, places, occurrences. Prophecy breaking. Trelawney speaking but can't hear her._**

**_Angry velvet. Ss-ss-ssandpaperss-ss, ss-sscratchess-ss, ss-sscreams-ss. Anguis-ss-sh._**

_**Help.**_

0-0-0-0-0

'Ron' –smack– 'Ron, wake up!'

Ron sat bolt upright in the chair. It took almost a minute for his vision to clear and then he realised that he was still in the common room. An aftershock of pain ran through his face and he quickly clasped both hands to his forehead. He looked up to see Hermione edging away from him slowly. Her face was pearly and as scared as though she had seen a ghost. Her hands were trembling and, Ron realised, so were his.

'R-r-ron' Hermione stuttered 'W-why did you just do that?'

Ron looked bewildered, as he genuinely was.

'Do what?'

'Clasp your hands to your forehead. It what Harry di-DOES when his scar hurts'

'My scar did hurt' Ron realised what he had said almost as soon as he had said it. 'I mean, I thought I had a scar that hurt, actually I was dreaming that my scar hurt – the scar I dreamt that is, not an actual scar…'

Hermione looked even more disturbed if that was possible.

'Ron,' she asked tentatively 'what _exactly_ did you dream?'

By the time Ron was finished the pallor had receded from Hermione's face and she stared pensively into the cold stone hearth.

'You were babbling about the Dark lord looking for the prophecy' she supplied 'it woke me up and then you started to thrash wildly. I called your name but you wouldn't wake up, I thought it was some sort of fit so I slapped you…'

Ron rubbed his ringing jaw remorsefully 'and then I grabbed my forehead which freaked you out further'

'Yes' said Hermione softly 'You did it exactly like Harry used to'.

They sat awkwardly on the sofa in dead-pan silence. Eventually Ron asked apprehensively 'Do you think we should go see McGonagal about this?'

Hermione nodded grimly and the two of them rose from the seat.

0-0-0-0-0

Firenze watched the two NEWT students hurry down the Gryfindor corridor. The foolish humans were blind to their surroundings and failed to notice even the large bulk of Firenze in the gloom.

'Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley, where might you be going?'

Hermione shrieked and Ron yelped, both turned around to see Firenze bearing down upon them from behind the closest tapestry.

'We were going to see Professor Mc Gonagal, sir.' Hermione said in a breathless sort of voice.

'Hmm, really… and to what does she owe the pleasure at this hour of the morning? Can't it wait?'

'I'm afraid not professor, it's rather urgent see' continued Hermione 'Ron just had, well Ron may have some important information on the whereabouts of Harry…'

Firenze looked interested 'had a dream did he? Tell me Mr. Weasley'

Ron looked at Hermione, unsure about what to do but she nodded behind Firenze's back so he launched into another retelling of the dream, leaving out the bit about his non-existent scar hurting.

Firenze mused on what he had heard, 'Yes, that is interesting but I do not believe it is of utmost importance that the headmistress hear it immediately, it can wait until morning'

'But Professor!' exclaimed Hermione

Firenze lowered his great head and Hermione flushed under his intense stare.

'Ms. Granger, I recognise that any information regarding the Dark Lord's whereabouts is rare enough to be of great value but we do not know that Mr. Weasely's dream is anything other than that. I shall meditate on it as I walk the corridors later and will talk to Professor Mc Gonagal about my conclusion tomorrow. Goodnight children'

He gave a courteous bow to Hermione and swung his long body around the nearest corner until they moved off. As they walked back to the common room he overheard a snippet of the whispered conversation.

Granger's voice; '…go straight to the owlery in the morning.'

Lull in conversation.

Weasley, off-hand; 'He fancies you, you know Hermy'

'RON that is TOTALLY off the point! And it's ridiculous; teachers don't fall for students… EVER!'

Pause

'You liked Lockhart though, I bet you like old Hooves too'

'No I don't! That's disgusting; he's half horse!'

'Well endowed so'

'RONALD WEASELY! You are so gross sometimes!'

Weasley, quickly; 'So who do you like then?'

Granger, reluctantly; 'Why you, of course. Though I have my doubts at times'

Firenze heard no more and Ron was deaf to the world. He thought his heart might burst: 'You, of course'


End file.
